What’s made out of leather and sounds like a sneeze?
A Shoe!
Meh Thoughts
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Shoe: The Sneezing Leather Mystery!
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More Than Six
How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb?
Well, I know it’s more than six because my basement is still dark.
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What to Do With All the Extra Tacos
My kids refused to eat leftover tacos for dinner, so my wife told me to just throw them out.
Now I don’t know what to do with all the extra tacos.
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I wonder why Mexico makes such a big deal about Cinco de Mayo.
I wonder why Mexico makes such a big deal about Cinco de Mayo. I mean, who *hasn’t* defeated the French?
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I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.
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I’m just a kid at heart. A huge-titted, porn-watching,
I’m just a kid at heart. A huge-titted, porn-watching, masturbating kid.
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The Results Are Staggering
Scientists have finished a study on how alcohol can affect a person’s ability to walk.
The results are staggering.
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Respectful Farewell or Evidence Elimination?
So when they burn a body at the crematorium, it’s “a respectful farewell to the departed.”
But when I do it, it’s “destroying evidence.”
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Hey girl, these flowers are my way of saying, “There was a guy selling flowers at a
Hey girl, these flowers are my way of saying, “There was a guy selling flowers at a stoplight and I thought I could get laid for ten bucks.” /@rmfnord
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It’s been said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac.
It’s been said that power is the greatest aphrodisiac. It’s true, women love guys who have power. They also seem to enjoy running water and central heating.
