For what it’s worth, *my* version of the “ice bucket challenge” involved me taping $10 and a brick to the inside of an ice bucket and hurling it from the 10th floor of an Embassy Suites, seeing how many folks grazing at the free breakfast buffet I could hit. Unfortunately, the Lord Censors of Facebook felt my video wasn’t obnoxious *enough*, apparently.
Meh Thoughts
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I think I learned a couple of valuable life lessons that night.
I think I learned a couple of valuable life lessons that night. One: The old adage about setting your sights on something and just grabbing for it doesn’t necessarily apply in strip clubs. Two: Metal toilets are cold.
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Carrots Are Good for Your Memory
Carrots are good for your memory.
Get one shoved in your ass and you won’t forget it.
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Pig Latin Poet
One of the perks of being a Pig Latin poet is that it’s pretty easy to come up with rhymes.
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Removing It From the Church
What’s the hardest part of being an organ donor?
Removing it from the church.
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My new girlfriend is very talented: After oral sex she blows
My new girlfriend is very talented: After oral sex she blows semen bubbles then twists them into balloon animals!
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Linux: The Only Option for Spacebound Astronauts!
Why do astronauts use Linux?
Because they can’t open Windows in space. -
I was sitting in my kitchen last night when I realized that if the next pope is a really
I was sitting in my kitchen last night when I realized that if the next pope is a really tall guy, his pope hat will brush the ceiling if he ever comes to visit me.
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Yeehaw or Heeyaw
I need to know something: Is it “Yeehaw” or “Heeyaw”? I’m riding in my first rodeo and don’t want to sound like a total idiot.
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She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but
She laughed when she realized it’s “condom” not “condiment,” but she’s not the one with mustard burns on her pecker.
