Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
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Why Women Adore Jesus: The Ultimate Gesture!
Why do women love Jesus?
Because he was (spreads arms) hung like this.
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Yeehaw or Heeyaw
I need to know something: Is it “Yeehaw” or “Heeyaw”? I’m riding in my first rodeo and don’t want to sound like a total idiot.
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I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I
I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I remembered gay men are men, too, like me. Yesterday I put my dick in a tree stump.
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Trycocksagain: A New Hope for Lesbians
The FDA just approved a medication for lesbians with depression.
It’s called Trycocksagain. -
It Was a French Toast
I was the best man at my brother’s wedding in Paris. At the reception, I raised my champagne glass and said, “Eggs, cinnamon, bread, and maple syrup…”
It was a French toast.
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Dinosaurs Died Before Fried Chicken
Sometimes when I eat fried chicken, I tear into it and pretend I’m some kind of prehistoric dinosaur making a kill. But then I realize that it’s pretty silly because dinosaurs all died long before fried chicken ever walked the earth.
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If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should
If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should have to tuck his penis and balls behind his butt for the rest of the day.
