The other day, a homeless man asked me for a dollar.
I told him that I only carry big bills. He asked me for one of those, so I gave him my electric bill.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Magic Relationship
Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.
But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.
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Dating Nostalgia: A Dinner with a Twist!
My wife complained that I don’t treat her like I did when we were dating.
So I took her to dinner and dropper her off at her parent’s house. -
Okay, who farted?
Three guys from San Francisco are in a hot tub when suddenly a large blob of semen rises to the top.
One of the guys stands up, angry, and asks, “Okay, WHO farted?” -
Watching a live stream
Why did the woman bring a remote control to the lake?
She was watching a live stream.
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you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those
you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those blue cumstains off of my dress.
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“Come On Eileen” is probably my favorite 80’s pop song about bukake
“Come On Eileen” is probably my favorite 80’s pop song about bukake.
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Big Tits on Babies
My wife asked me if I wish she had been born with big tits.
I told her that I find big tits on babies disturbing.
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Gym Woes: Broken Machines and No Treats!
I went to the gym the other day and my favorite machine was broken.
I couldn’t get any chocolate or Coke or anything.
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A complete prick
When I first met Richard Peter Johnson, he seemed like a decent guy, but he turned out to be a complete prick.
