My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s getting anal tonight.” Unfortunately for him, I was referring to his mom’s meticulousness in the kitchen.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length,
I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length, because she’d never find pants that fit.
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Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my
Whenever I cum during sex, I like to say “Thank you” to my boyfriend. He appreciates it and says it makes it feel like he was in the room.
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One less drunk
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk! -
I’m not sure what I ate yesterday but I just shit the LSU
I’m not sure what I ate yesterday but I just shit the LSU marching band out of my ass this morning playing “Walk the Dinosaur.”
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Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a
Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a standing ovation, but “that don’t help the houses get built!” according to my douchebag Habitat for Humanity supervisor.
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My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like
My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like snakeskin boots so much and had nothing to do with that cool blowjob trick I do where I unhinge my jaw.
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Forgot to take my kid to school this morning, in case you’re
Forgot to take my kid to school this morning, in case you’re wondering how nice that woman’s tits were last night.
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Here comes the second one
How do terrorists feed their children?
“Here comes the airplane.”
“Here comes the second one.”
