Meh Thoughts

Meh thoughts

Short thoughts for long downward spirals

Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.

  • Dinosaurs Died Before Fried Chicken

    Sometimes when I eat fried chicken, I tear into it and pretend I’m some kind of prehistoric dinosaur making a kill. But then I realize that it’s pretty silly because dinosaurs all died long before fried chicken ever walked the earth.

  • Just a shot in the dark

    I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
    I guess it was just a shot in the dark.

  • Hypnotize a Cat

    Cats aren’t so damn superior. Heck, you can easily hypnotize one by dangling a shiny object in front of its eyes and giving it tuna… giving it tuna… must give the cat some tuna….

  • Poop With the Door Open

    I told my wife that we’ve been together long enough now, we can poop with the door open…

    …She told me I shouldn’t be pooping in the car in the first place!

  • My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big

    My penis has a mind of its own. That’s usually not a big problem, but it can result in me getting some strange readings from fortune tellers.

  • CB Lingo 201

    I would think the hardest part of truck-driving school is CB Lingo 201. You know, the second year, where everything you say in class has to be in CB.

  • Flapaccino: The Female Teabag Twist

    What do you call the female version of teabagging?

    A flapaccino

  • Grandpa’s Pail: A Twist on Goodbye

    My grandfather didn’t kick the bucket.. he just turned a little pail.

  • It Was Tense

    The past, the present, and the future all walk into a bar at the same time.

    It was tense…

  • Can’t Win a Mall

    I entered a lottery to win an entire shopping center, but I failed.

    I guess you can’t win a mall.

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