Meh Thoughts: Dark Shower Thoughts & One-Liners

Nothing says “Good morning” like bleeding ‘rhoids

Nothing says “Good morning” like bleeding ‘rhoids.

I was going to try to come up with a Rumination about my huge throbbing cock, but it’s just too damn hard.

I saw a group of kids throwing Scrabble tiles at each other.

It’s all fun and games until someone loses an I.

If I die right now, my last Google search will be “carry testicles in milk crate,” so I look forward to my family finding that.

How do you get 100 math teachers into a room in which only 99 fit?

You carry the one.

When I was a kid, a wizard gave me a choice — to have a giant dick, or perfect memory.

I forgot which one I picked.

I know a comedienne who is a natural at making up practical jokes about oral sex. You might say she has a good gag reflex.

My wife asked me if I wish she had been born with big tits.

I told her that I find big tits on babies disturbing.

I tried to donate a kidney but they kept asking where I got it from…

I fell asleep with the “calming nature rhythms” station on and woke in a cold sweat when humpback whales were about to fuck on top of me.