Have you ever noticed that Jack Black and Jack White are never seen in the same room together? No? RACIST!!!
Meh Thoughts
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A Couple of No Shows
I was recently invited to a 3-way.
There were a couple of no-shows but I still had a great time.
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I love how we came up with such an elegant sounding word as “antiquing” to mean
I love how we came up with such an elegant sounding word as “antiquing” to mean “overpaying for someone else’s dilapidated, old crap.”
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It’s the little things that make life truly worth living.
It’s the little things that make life truly worth living. For example: starting and ending the day with the same number of teeth.
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Push and Pull
On his deathbed, my grandfather said, “Remember these two words. They’ll open a lot of doors for you in life.”
“Push and Pull.”
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I’m thankful my roommate is a fellow wine lover.
I’m thankful my roommate is a fellow wine lover. Otherwise he’d probably rat out my “Butchered Hitchhiker Chardonnay” to the authorities.
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Press 6 to Hear These Options Again
Well it’s 1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready… 4 for sales, 5 for customer service or press 6 to hear these options again.
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I cried when my grandparents danced at my sister’s wedding.
I cried when my grandparents danced at my sister’s wedding. Because seeing that made me realize they might live long enough to dance at mine.
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I’d have to say my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the sharp spike in frequency of
I’d have to say my favorite thing about Thanksgiving is the sharp spike in frequency of use of the term “giblets.”
