I once got my hair colored by a guy in Reno, just to watch him dye.
Meh Thoughts
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When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought
When my boyfriend started calling me his Rose Garden, I thought it was because I was sweet and smelled nice. Turns out it was because of all the little pricks I’ve had in my bush.
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After passing walking down yet another aisle stocked with nothing but organic donuts and
After passing walking down yet another aisle stocked with nothing but organic donuts and bagels, I realized why I enjoy shopping at Hole Foods.
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I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck”
I can never remember the trucker grammatical rule. Is it “fuck” before “shit” except after “cocksucker,” or the other way around?
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Running a 0.002K This Weekend
If anyone wants to sponsor me, I’ll be running a 0.002K this weekend to raise awareness for laziness.
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If you don’t eat your candy corn in three separate color
If you don’t eat your candy corn in three separate color coordinated bites, you’re a lazy bag of shit.
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The Man Who Fell Into an Upholstery Machine
Did you hear about the man who fell into the upholstery machine?
He is fully recovered now.
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Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick — A Perfect Match
Did you hear about the two gay Irish men? They are a perfect match.
Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick.
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There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick
There’s no “I” in “sperm.” And hopefully after that quick kick to the crotch, there will be no more sperm in “eye.”
