My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually followed by passionate lovemaking. Nevertheless, I awakened abruptly only an hour later, with an unsatisfied hunger. Was it the twice cooked pork, or the twice porked cook that I was craving?
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Nearly Met Jesus
Hiking in your 70s is a great way to meet people.
Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist… and nearly met Jesus!
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I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve
I didn’t mean to give the old man a heart attack, but I could’ve sworn he screamed at me to get off ON his lawn.
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Being a Literalist
Being a literalist can sometimes be very helpful.
I can always respond to “Do these jeans make my ass look fat?” with a confident and honest “No.”
But I dread the day when she rephrases it as “Does my ass look fat in these jeans?”
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If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s
If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog won.
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Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
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In heaven, the guys’ dicks never pop out and the pussies never
In heaven, the guys’ dicks never pop out and the pussies never fart. It’s awesome.
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Waldo: Worth It or Just a Rip-Off?
I think I got ripped off.
I just paid $15 for the “Where’s Waldo” audio book. -
Won’t = Wo Not
Quick tip for those who are struggling with English:
Don’t = Do not
Won’t = Wo not
Stay tuned for more tips.
