Heisenberg’s Uncertainty Principle is very well named. Despite my physics professors having explained it to me dozens of times, I’m still not sure what it’s all about.
Meh Thoughts
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Sleeping Bag
You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It’s awful.
You can’t ever move, you’re drenched in sweat, and your scout master is covering your mouth.
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Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a
Lifting up my bra in New Orleans should have gotten me a standing ovation, but “that don’t help the houses get built!” according to my douchebag Habitat for Humanity supervisor.
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Press 6 to Hear These Options Again
Well it’s 1 for the money, 2 for the show, 3 to get ready… 4 for sales, 5 for customer service or press 6 to hear these options again.
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All of the seats were already taken
Unfortunately, I showed up late to the kleptomaniacs’ conference.
Needless to say, all of the seats were already taken. -
For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with
For my management style, I prefer the carrot-or-stick method: I can either beat you with a stick, or beat you with a carrot.
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Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl
Sometimes I feel like a nut, and sometimes I’m more of an ass girl.
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When God closes a door, he opens a window.
When God closes a door, he opens a window. When God farts, he opens two windows, for the cross-ventilation effect.
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Butterflies in my stomach
I’d never make it on one of those “Survivor” shows. Every time I think about eating something like caterpillars, I start to get butterflies in my stomach.
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I wouldn’t object to being conscious during brain surgery, as long as someone told me
I wouldn’t object to being conscious during brain surgery, as long as someone told me where to cut.
