If you think this has been a bizarre week, Blac Chyna recently gave birth to North and Saint West’s cousin, Dream Kardashian. Seriously.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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I Have Contacts
I’ve just been pulled over by a police officer. He saw my license and said I’m supposed to be wearing glasses. I said I have contacts.
He said he didn’t care who I knew.
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American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle
American girls are okay, I guess, but when I get ready to settle down, I’ll be looking for a woman who hails from Nicerackistan.
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Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster
Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
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Big steps
There was a safety meeting at work today…
They asked me, “What steps would you take in case of a fire?”“Big fucking steps.”
Evidently, that was NOT the answer.
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Two Dead Dogs
Last week, my girlfriend’s dog died. So to cheer her up I bought her an identical one. She was livid.
Yelled at me, “What the fuck am I going to do with two dead dogs?”
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Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is
Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is “spit” and “swallow,” but that sounds more like the difference between “right” and “wrong” to me.
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My girlfriend has the best tits EVER. Don’t take my word for it
My girlfriend has the best tits EVER. Don’t take my word for it — ask her husband.
