I thought my goldfish would thank me for the pizza crusts but they just got all wobbly like they didn’t give a fuck.
Meh Thoughts
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are not an “up and comer” in life
are not an “up and comer” in life.
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You’d think politicians would have a little more respect.
You’d think politicians would have a little more respect. I continually pass up a lot of great felony opportunities in my life so I can vote.
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I was having a good laugh mocking that guy at the biker bar about his cheesy barbed wire
I was having a good laugh mocking that guy at the biker bar about his cheesy barbed wire tattoo — until I realized it wasn’t a tattoo.
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Self-defense tip: If you’re ever about to be mugged by a couple of clowns, don’t
Self-defense tip: If you’re ever about to be mugged by a couple of clowns, don’t hesitate — go for the juggler.
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Too Many Questions for a Simple Donation!
Blood donation centers ask way too many questions:
“Where’d you get it?”
“Whose blood is it?”
“Why is it in a bucket?” -
Not to blame the victim, but let’s be honest: Most people who get bitten by vampires
Not to blame the victim, but let’s be honest: Most people who get bitten by vampires were probably going to end up selling their blood down at the local clinic anyway.
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So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection
So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection during a 4-hour threesome with two smoking hot women, are you still supposed to call a doctor? *I* did, but pretty much just to brag.
