Word to the wise: No matter how good the sex was, never high-five your dick.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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You’ll Get Used to It
My wife and I went to Subway for lunch. She ordered us a footlong to split. I told her 6″ wasn’t enough.
She replied, “You’ll get used to it!”
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Maybe it’s just me, but I’d bet if you whispered, “Be gentle,”
Maybe it’s just me, but I’d bet if you whispered, “Be gentle,” to your cellmate, it’s pretty likely just the OPPOSITE is going to happen.
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Motherfucker, stand back while I BLOW YOUR MIND. – Why I’m not
Motherfucker, stand back while I BLOW YOUR MIND. – Why I’m not allowed to play trains with my niece
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Right Up There
Not sure if a colonoscopy is the most painful medical procedure but it’s right up there!
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Neurosurgeon Girlfriend
I had to break up with my neurosurgeon girlfriend. She was messing with my head.
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Digging in Her Heels
A guy tells his buddy, “I’ve had enough of my wife. Today I told her that what she’s wearing isn’t appropriate for gardening.”
“What happened?” his buddy asks. “Did she listen?”
And the guy says, “Nope. She’s digging in her heels.”
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Blind at the Beach: Finding Clarity
How do you spot a blind person at a nude beach?
It’s not hard. -
You Already Know How to Play Tennis
My wife walked in on me watching Internet porn so I quickly switched to a YouTube video on tennis.
As she left the room she said, “Turn it back to the porn, you already know how to play tennis.”
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Consumed by His Own Pride
Did you hear about the arrogant lion tamer?
He was consumed by his own pride.
