(Phil Schwa) I always look at the positives, not the negatives. Today I’m grateful for the 99.9% of the time my anus knows the difference between a gas and another state of matter.
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that*
A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that* takes jewelry.
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I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties,
I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties, but apparently “lipstick” is already taken.
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You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t
You saw 9/11 coming? I gave 9/11 the handjob, and you weren’t even in the room!
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Never Start Off on the Wrong Foot
Why is a double amputee happier than an able-bodied person?
Because they never start off on the wrong foot.
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The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge
The great thing about being bisexual is that you can get revenge on a woman who turns you down by telling her you were only hitting on her for a shot at blowing her nearby friend.
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that end in loud, intense orgasms — all while wearing my granny
that end in loud, intense orgasms — all while wearing my granny panties.
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Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate?
Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate? Mine reads: “relish sausage spread buns.”
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Jesus vs. a Frame of Jesus
What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
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To me it was never about “Romulans versus Klingons” as much as
To me it was never about “Romulans versus Klingons” as much as it was about “How far am I going to take this in order to bang a chick willing to wear Spock ears during sex?”
