My new girlfriend is very talented: After oral sex she blows semen bubbles then twists them into balloon animals!
Meh Thoughts
Meh thoughts
Short thoughts for long downward spirals
Browse quick-hit shower thoughts, deadpan one-liners, dark little observations, and questionable micro-rants from Chaotic Meh. They are short, searchable, and emotionally about as stable as a folding chair in a hurricane.
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Leashes and Revolutions: A Punny Comparison!
What’s the difference between a dog leash and the French Revolution?
One is a reign of terror, the other is a rein of terrier. -
Check it off my list
If I ever get arrested for bouncing down my street naked on a pogo stick with a peacock feather in my ass, well, there’s something else I can check off my list of things to do before I die.
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If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should
If a guy’s coffee order has more than 5 words in it, he should have to tuck his penis and balls behind his butt for the rest of the day.
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If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that
If I had a penis, I’d probably spend hours perfecting that “thwap” noise I’d want it to make when I hit it against my girlfriend.
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Spraying Memories: A Job for Two Bucks
Once long ago I got a job hosing women down for wet T-shirt contests. It was $2 an hour.
It was all I could afford at the time.
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Hiking is great. It’s is the only healthy activity you can take
Hiking is great. It’s is the only healthy activity you can take a shit in the middle of doing.
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Dinosaurs Died Before Fried Chicken
Sometimes when I eat fried chicken, I tear into it and pretend I’m some kind of prehistoric dinosaur making a kill. But then I realize that it’s pretty silly because dinosaurs all died long before fried chicken ever walked the earth.
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He’s a web designer
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We had a few drinks. Turns out he’s a web designer. -
Gators vs. Crocs: Timing is Everything!
What’s the difference between an alligator, and a crocodile?
One you will see later; the other after a while.
