I bet it pisses off the Lenape Indians when they see how many beads drunk girls get at Mardi Gras just for showing their tits.

She didn’t have any super powers; but with a name like “Commander Crotch Punch,” I suspect she really didn’t need them.

If celebrity deaths do come in threes, I’m hoping that June Cleaver and Howard Cunningham will soon be dispensing pearls of heavenly sitcom wisdom to *anyone* from the cast of “Jersey Shore.”

I have to admit, I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush- bottomed bubble dudes spraying out of the bathroom cleaner can. Guess I need to huff it a little deeper next time.

I shot the sheriff. I also shot the deputy. And if the deputy had been wearing shoes, I’d have given them to the guy who was bitching because he had none. Then I would have taken him fishing. Hey, it’s not every day you can nail three cliches that easily.

The saying “I think, therefore I am…” should have a corollary that would render lifeless all those who do NOT think. Just imagine the miles of roads opening up with no traffic whatsoever.