Did you hear a secret colony of gophers was discovered recently?
They say there was a mole among them.
Meh Thoughts
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Secret Gopher Colony Had a Mole
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Make Up Your Mind
I recently had someone tell me to stop being an idiot and to be myself.
I told them to make up their mind.
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Do you think it’s a big deal, if after years of marriage you find out your partner literally sucked hundreds of dicks before you met? Or is my wife making a big deal out of nothing?
Do you think it’s a big deal, if after years of marriage you find out your partner literally sucked hundreds of dicks before you met? Or is my wife making a big deal out of nothing?
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I just paid $35 for a 2 mile taxi ride to the laundromat. I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners.
I just paid $35 for a 2 mile taxi ride to the laundromat. I feel like I’ve been taken to the cleaners.
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Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like showering without Jerry Sandusky
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like showering without Jerry Sandusky
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Surely I don’t need an umbrella today
I asked my iPhone, “Surely I don’t need an umbrella today?”.
Siri replied “Yes, and don’t call me Shirley”.Apparently I had left Airplane mode on.
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Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
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I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
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Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match?
Why don’t boxers have sex the night before their match? Because they hate each other.
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Neighbor Can’t Sleep at 2am
My neighbor knocked on my door at 2am this morning and said, “I can’t sleep.”
“Well it’s your lucky day,” I said. “We’ve got a party going on in here, come in.”
