Tone: dark humor

Dark humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Better Get a Model That Gets Better Mileage

    Little Johnny catches his parents shagging one afternoon. He yells in, “Hey, Pop! What are you doin’?”

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    His father says, “Son, I’m filling your mother’s tank.”

    Johnny says, “Oh, yeah? Well, you better get a model that gets better mileage. The postman filled her this morning.”

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  • Magic 8 Ball Stupid

    Magic 8 Ball Stupid

    MAGIC 8-BALL, AM I STUPID?

  • Deaf Club

    Deaf Club

    THE FIRST RULE OF DEAF CLUB…

    NYOU NU NOT NALK AMOUT NEF GLUB,

  • What Sound Does a Pig Make

    A primary school teacher in the Bronx decided to see how many of the city kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. “Who knows what sound a cow makes?” she asked.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    Mary put her hand up and said “Moooo!”

    “Very good” replied the teacher, “what sound do sheep make?”

    “Maaaa” answered Johnny.

    She continued this for a while. Then she asked “What sound does a pig make?”

    All the hands in the class went up. She was surprised at the response. She chose the shy little boy at the back of the class. He stood up, took a deep breath, and screamed “Up against the wall mutha-fucka!!”

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  • My Boss Is Like a Fine Wine

    My boss is like a fine wine. All I want to do is drive a corkscrew into him but my co-workers keep saying, “Not yet, let’s wait for a special occasion.”

  • Taking Out the Bodies of the Previous Owners

    I really enjoy taking out the trash from my new home. It’s hard to explain, but walking the trash to the curb the night before trash day really makes me feel like a homeowner. Especially now that I’ve taken out the bodies of the previous owners.

  • Positive Thoughts

    They say if you have positive thoughts about something, it will happen. Well, I’ve been thinking positively about my neighbor’s 19-year-old daughter, but so far, no luck. I think maybe my wife’s negative thoughts are interfering.

  • Drug Dealer vs. Hooker

    What’s the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

    A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.

  • Stuck Up Cunts

    What did one tampon say to the other? Nothing.

    They’re stuck up cunts.