Apparently, to my husband “Happy Valentine’s Day” means “Yes! I’m finally getting anal!”
Tone: dark humor
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off?
Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.
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When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t
When I asked my boyfriend to give me a “shocker,” I wasn’t expecting him to tell me that he fucked my mom.
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Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what
Sometimes when I get into a pickle, I think to myself, “what would Paris Hilton do?” But damn, I can never find that many cocks around.
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Poor Mrs. Claus. Her only options for hot sex involve an old
Poor Mrs. Claus. Her only options for hot sex involve an old obese guy, dozens of guys with one-inch cocks, and a herd of oddly named deer.
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My buddy thought I was nuts when we spotted an extremely large
My buddy thought I was nuts when we spotted an extremely large woman and I said, “Man! I’d like to get all up in dat!” What he doesn’t understand is that my comment was actually about my return-to-the-womb issues.
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I didn’t mind giving my BF a shot at Reverse Cowgirl, I just
I didn’t mind giving my BF a shot at Reverse Cowgirl, I just wish he hadn’t felt the need to brand my ass during the act.
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The great thing about elves must be that Mrs. Claus can fuck 10
The great thing about elves must be that Mrs. Claus can fuck 10 or 12 of them before she finally gets tired.
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“HOLY MACKEREL!” I exclaimed as I finally came. I never imagined
“HOLY MACKEREL!” I exclaimed as I finally came. I never imagined how great the sensation would be when fucking a pierced fish corpse.
