I got my super power the same way Spider-Man did. Except instead of my hand, I got bit on my cock. And instead of a radioactive spider, it was a cheap hooker. And my “power” is Hepatitis C. Other than that though, it’s exactly the same.
Tone: dark humor
Dark humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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You know it’s time to find a new boyfriend when you tell him
You know it’s time to find a new boyfriend when you tell him you’re feeling sick and he responds with, “So I guess anal’s a ‘no-go’ then?”
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If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a
If you can’t tell the difference between my erect penis and a pocketed banana, why the hell should I be happy?
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Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s
Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s slipped off the track, try using “shit piss motherfucking cocksucker.”
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Hiking is great. It’s is the only healthy activity you can take
Hiking is great. It’s is the only healthy activity you can take a shit in the middle of doing.
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“Oh, that’s good, yeah. You like that, don’t you, you dirty
“Oh, that’s good, yeah. You like that, don’t you, you dirty bitch?” – Bob the Dog Groomer, at least once a fucking day
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I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a wanker who had no dick
I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a wanker who had no dick.
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I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in
I was just reprimanded for having washed out my coffee mug in the bathroom sink instead of in the breakroom. I guess my superiors feel the lavatory should remain pristine for piss, shit and cum residue.
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Fucking a vacuum is perfect because it can’t tell anyone that
Fucking a vacuum is perfect because it can’t tell anyone that you’ve been fucking it whether its mouth is full or not.
