Dark humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
A sure-fire way to win “best costume” at the next Halloween party is to have somebody embed a real chainsaw blade into your shoulder.
Timing is crucial, though — you don’t want to pass out from loss of blood after 10 minutes, long before the costume judging begins, like I did.
What’s the difference between a nine-volt battery and a butthole?
Everyone knows not to stick their tongue on a nine-volt battery.
A man got fired from his job for having sex during work hours. When his boss asked why he did it, the man replied, “I don’t know man, she was just lying there naked. I kinda got the hint so we fucked.”
He was never hired at another morgue again.
Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.
But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.
When I was a kid, a wizard gave me a choice — to have a giant dick, or perfect memory.
I forgot which one I picked.
What has one leg and licks balls?
My amputee girlfriend.
I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.
That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
Should NBC be concerned? They keep getting communications that affect the weather from some rogue terrorist group called “Al Roker.”
