Tone: dark humor

Dark humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Why Was Six Afraid of Seven

    Why was six afraid of seven?

    Seven was black.

  • The 69th Wedding Anniversary

    The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate, but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.

  • Why Don’t Blind People Like to Skydive?

    Why don’t blind people like to skydive?

    Because it scares the dog.

  • I didn’t think it hurt that much

    I said to my wife, “They say that childbirth is the most painful thing someone can experience…”
    “Now, maybe I was too young to remember, but I didn’t think it hurt that much.”

  • I can’t do anything about it

    The company I work for is knowingly making defective whistles.
    I can’t do anything about it.

  • Authorities just found Himalayan there

    Did you hear about the guy who collapsed trying to climb Mount Everest?
    Authorities just found Himalayan there.

  • She slowly came around

    Last night at the airport, there was a woman totally passed out on the baggage carousel.

    She slowly came around.

  • All the digging

    What’s the worst thing about having sex in a cemetery?

    All the digging.

  • Stop pretending that I cared

    My wife stopped pretending to have orgasms years ago. That’s all right with me, though, because it allowed me to stop pretending that I cared.

  • Going to the Dentist

    Just when I thought I’d get a break from my day job as a prostitute by going to the dentist, I realized I was actually paying *him* to shove his throbbing tool in my mouth.