Tone: darkly humorous

Darkly humorous humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Why Was 10 Scared

    Why was 10 scared?

    He was right in the middle of 9/11.

  • Teeth Marks

    How do you know that a suicide victim was gay?

    The teeth marks are farther down the barrel.

  • Good News and Bad News

    Hey. Good news and bad news.

    The good news is that diet and exercise can cure erectile dysfunction.

    The bad news is that it isn’t easy talking your wife into dieting and exercising.

  • Sound Advice

    My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.

    “It’s worth spending money on good speakers,” he told me.

  • Tends to be yellower

    The rain falls upon the just and unjust alike, though the rain that falls upon the just tends to be yellower.

  • The dog won

    If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog won.

  • I would appreciate it as a worm

    In my will, I’ve stated that I want my coffin to be made of aluminum foil and my body to be dipped in caramel and chocolate. I know that if I were someday reincarnated as a worm, I would appreciate it if someone had thought of that.

  • One of your snakes is digesting a rat

    The worst part about being Medusa wouldn’t be turning people to stone on sight, but rather the unavoidable bad-hair days when one of your snakes is digesting a rat.

  • Now they have cameras everywhere

    When I was young, you could go to the grocery store with two dollars in your pocket and come out with a loaf of bread, two dozen eggs, and a pound of butter.
    Now, they have cameras everywhere.

  • Don’t let Kevin Bacon die

    Ever since Johnny Cash died, we’ve had no cash. Ever since Steve Jobs died, we’ve had no jobs. Please God, don’t let Kevin Bacon die.