Whew, thank goodness Week Without Showering is over! I was feeling pretty scummy. Not as scummy as Week Without Wiping, but still.
Tone: humor
Humor humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two
to be on top tonight because that last dump made me a full two pounds lighter.
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The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their
The best things about sleeping with women: their softness, their warmth and their inability to poke me in the ass with a boner.
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Thinking about losing weight, but I’m scared to discover what my
Thinking about losing weight, but I’m scared to discover what my penis looks like. What if it’s hideous?
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I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into
I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into the laundry, then they’re “fucking Kleenex.”
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If I was a guy, I can guarantee you that as soon as I was left
If I was a guy, I can guarantee you that as soon as I was left alone in a room, I’d rub my dick on everything while saying, “Mine.”
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45 Cents
A daughter calls her mother & says “I’m divorcing Nathan. All he wants is 6ex, 6ex and more 6ex. My v@gina is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece.”
Her mother says: “You’re married to a multi-millionaire businessman! You live in an 8-bedroom mansion! You drive a $250,000 Ferrari! You get $2,000 a week allowance! You take 6 vacations a year! … and, You want to throw all that away over 45 cents?”
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Killing It on Harmonica
me: [absolutely killing it on harmonica]
taco bell cashier: are you gonna order
