When the realtor told me the house was haunted, I wasn’t too worried. Either any residual spirits would be gone within the week, or they’d be into watching a guy whack off to chubby-chick porn six times a day, in which case they’re my kind of ghosts.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I enjoy orgasms. So sue me. No, really — sue me, I haven’t
I enjoy orgasms. So sue me. No, really — sue me, I haven’t
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Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words:
Sometimes a girl just needs to hear those three little words: “I’d hit that.”
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My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy
My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.
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How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing
How did the phrase “balls to the wall” come to mean doing something very quickly? ‘Cause if they were my balls, I guarantee you I would be moving much, much slower.
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Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to
Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
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The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen
The problem with having a Smurf fetish is that once you’ve seen one blue pussy, you’ve seen them all.
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You know those frilled lizards, the ones that can make
You know those frilled lizards, the ones that can make themselves look bigger and more fearsome by flipping out those flaps around their heads? I’ll bet those things have tiny little dicks.
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This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I*
This DVD box says, “The Director’s Cut.” Why the fuck should *I* care what his penis looks like?
