Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

the blank in the adage, “Absence makes the _____ grow _____.”

the blank in the adage, “Absence makes the _____ grow _____.” Turned out that my reply “penis” and “harder” was not the correct one.
Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk

Call me a fetishist, but I like my porn stars to show a little spunk.
I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length,

I sure hope Rapunzel’s carpet didn’t match the drapes in length, because she’d never find pants that fit.
I think we’re spoiled with today’s technological advancements.

I think we’re spoiled with today’s technological advancements. In fact, when I’m not videoconferencing or web-chatting, I find myself disappointed at not being able to say, “Stop staring at my tits, you moron.”
I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. For

I believe God puts people in our lives for a reason. For example, I believe He brought me the new receptionist so I can stare at her tits all day.
At parties, people always ask doctors to look at their rash,

At parties, people always ask doctors to look at their rash, plumbers to look at their clogged drain, or investment bankers for stock tips. I wonder if porn stars have people pestering them at parties to pretend to deliver pizza or make that fuck-face look they all do on the DVD covers. I know I would.
I am fuck’s biggest fan. I stalk fuck. Why can’t life be more

I am fuck’s biggest fan. I stalk fuck. Why can’t life be more like fucking all the time?
Don’t you hate it when you’re masturbating to Christine

Don’t you hate it when you’re masturbating to Christine O’Donnell and just about to cum and Rosie O’Donnell pops into your head?
A wet dream is a wish your testicles make

A wet dream is a wish your testicles make.
When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a

When people call me a “fucking idiot,” I consider it a compliment. After all, it’s my life’s ambition to do nothing but fuck like an idiot all day long.