All this romantic talk about the royal wedding has made me realize something about my amazing boyfriend: It’s been WEEKS since he’s asked me to put anything in his ass.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you
When life gives you fellatio, thank it profusely! Of course, you ought to wait until you cum first, just in case life changes its mind and decides to give you blue balls instead.
-
Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she
Give a woman a fish and she’ll eat for a day. Tell her that she *smells* like fish and you’ll be wanking for months.
-
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
-
I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to
I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to have such a cute, funny girlfriend.” Have they not noticed the tits?!
-
you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those
you’re the only female. But it might be a bitch to get those blue cumstains off of my dress.
-
Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery
Haiku: My girlfriend’s hoo-ha Is like Bon Jovi’s album, Slippery When Wet.
-
A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to
A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to find as many pictures of genitalia in the illustrations as you can.
-
To those guys who take a leak at the urinal hands-free, I have
To those guys who take a leak at the urinal hands-free, I have this to say: I *have* to hold mine to keep it from touching the urinal.
