I don’t know what I’m going to miss the most about my girlfriend now that we’re ending our relationship, but I’ve narrowed it down to one of three things: her tits, her tits, or her tits.
Tone: irreverent
Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get
Confucius say: Pierced man who has sex with blow-up doll get more bang for buck.
-
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response
I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.
-
My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the
My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the Halloween party we’re attending. Awesome! When we get back home, tonight’s rectal thermometer session will be that much more authentic.
-
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I
The elevator at work is possessed by horny demons! Every time I get in, there’s a mystical voice that says, “Going down.”
-
(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my
(Bonnie) I’m a conservationist at heart and take pride in my innovative recycling ideas. Did you know an old dildo works great as an egg-beater? Yup, you’ll get light, fluffy eggs every time.
-
Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I
Reflecting on my latest Bible study reading, I told the group I felt bad for Lot. Can you imagine the pain one suffers when fucking a pillar of salt?
-
I can always tell when I’m getting better after being sick when
I can always tell when I’m getting better after being sick when I again feel well enough to jerk off to Shake-Weight commericals on YouTube.
-
So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection
So if you DON’T take any Viagra, then have 4-hour erection during a 4-hour threesome with two smoking hot women, are you still supposed to call a doctor? *I* did, but pretty much just to brag.
-
It’s all fun and games till my boyfriend cums on my tits and
It’s all fun and games till my boyfriend cums on my tits and another girl licks it off. Then it’s… Whoa, weird — it’s still fun and games. Win!
