Tone: irreverent

Irreverent humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I have one religious tenet when it comes to sex: Ask and ye

I have one religious tenet when it comes to sex: Ask and ye shall receive. Except for anal.
Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is

Some people say the difference between “like” and “love” is “spit” and “swallow,” but that sounds more like the difference between “right” and “wrong” to me.
Sometimes you just want a guy to throw you to the ground and

Sometimes you just want a guy to throw you to the ground and fuck the living shit out of you. Other times you just want him to bring you your entrée while it’s still hot.
(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who

(Steve R. Clancy) There once was a chick from Vancouver, Who sucked cock like she was a Hoover. Till the day she got ticked And bit off a dick, Then swallowed it like an hors d’oeuvre.
I’m hoping that when I finally meet my Great Reward, my obituary

I’m hoping that when I finally meet my Great Reward, my obituary will say, “He died doing what he loved: coming up with filthy Ruminations on the shitter.”
Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big

Women sure are hard to figure out. My new girlfriend makes a big point of telling me she likes really rough sex, then she gets all pissed off about my sandpaper condom invention.
There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re

There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re talking about sex, then a huge dick is really hot, too.
Everybody keeps referencing Jilly G. in their filthy

Everybody keeps referencing Jilly G. in their filthy Ruminations, hoping to score some points so they might get to bone her on the off chance they ever meet in person. Not me, though — I’m far too busy sending love sonnets to Mila Kunis’ vajayjay.
(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik

(Jilly G.) Who would have guessed that a product called “Kwik Wood” has nothing to do with erectile dysfunction? Live and learn.
Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot

Maybe I’m being too picky. A guy doesn’t have to have a 50-foot yacht or a big dick for me to be interested. I would also notice him if he has a really hot girlfriend.