[First day as a cop]
Me: Suspect is dancing naked through downtown
Dispatch: Copy that
Me: I’ll try but i’m not much of a dancer
Tone: light-hearted
Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Those Bastards Lied to Me
When you hear the beginning of Under Pressure but it turns out to be Ice Ice Baby
Those bastards lied to me.
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And Tigger?
Zack Riley @ColdHeart_Prj
My son asked me “Where does poo come from?” I was a little uncomfortable but gave him an honest explanation. He looked a little perplexed, and stared at me in stunned silence for a few seconds and asked, “And Tigger?”
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CILT Simulation
I know. That’s how I read it at first.
CILT SIMULATION FORUM EVENT THIS WAY
Sheffield Hallam University
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Everything Is Big in Texas
A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. “Wow, this bed is big!”
“Everything is big in Texas,” says the bellhop.
The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. “Wow, these drinks are big!”
The bartender replies, “Everything is big in Texas.”
After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. “Second door to the right,” says the bartender.
The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in. Popping his head up from under the water and flailing his arms, he shouts, “Don’t flush! Don’t flush!”
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Ketchup with old friends again
I just got back from the annual Condiment Convention.
It was nice to ketchup with old friends again.
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The Times are rough
I’ve run out of toilet paper, so I’ve started using old newspaper…
The Times are rough.
