I was at the dentist this afternoon for some impressions.
He does a good Johnny Carson but his Frank Sinatra is terrible.
Tone: light-hearted
Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Centipede’s Errand
An ant, a spider, and a centipede are holding a party.
The ant realizes that they are running low on beer. He offers to head out to buy some more. The centipede says, “No, let me do it. You’d take too long. I have a lot more legs than you — I can do it faster!” The bugs agree.
Ten minutes pass… then twenty minutes, then thirty, then more. The spider asks, “What’s taking him so long?” The ant decides to head out to investigate. He opens the front door and sees the centipede outside.
The ant asks, “Hey man, what’s taking you so long?”
The centipede replies, “I’m still putting on my shoes.”
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Here Comes Trouble
Dad one sees dad two:
“oh no! here comes trouble!”
Dad two: “oh boy they let you out of the house?!”
Dads:
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Love Shaq
“I can’t end my messages with ‘Love, Shaq’, because the B-52s ruined that for me”
~ Shaquille O’Neal
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World’s Biggest Fan
I took my friend to see the world’s biggest fan for his birthday.
He was blown away.
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Elephant Wisdom
Why are elephants so wise?
It comes with getting long in the tooth.
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Feeling Drained
After spending an hour unclogging the bathtub and sink…
I’m feeling pretty drained.
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ID Theft
My friend David has just been a victim of ID theft.
He’s now called Dav.
