Tone: light-hearted

Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Two Tired

    Why did the bicycle fall down?

    Because it is two tired.

  • ID Theft

    My friend David has just been a victim of ID theft.

    He’s now called Dav.

  • The Confessional

    A drunk staggers into a Catholic church, enters a confessional booth, sits down, but says nothing.

    The priest coughs a few times to get his attention, but the drunk continues to sit there.

    Finally, the priest pounds three times on the wall.

    The drunk mumbles, “Ain’t no use knockin’, there’s no paper on this side either.”

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  • Happy Meal for Grown Ups

    Happy Meal for Grown Ups

    IF THEY MADE A HAPPY MEAL

    BAREFOOT SWEET RED CALIFORNIA RED WINE BLEND

    Babybel

    GHIRARDELLI INTENSE DARK SEA SALT SOIREE ALMOND

    FOR GROWN UPS.

  • Parsley Farm

    I just got hired at a parsley farm.

    It’s pretty easy work, but the downside is that they started garnishing my wages.

  • Expecting Some Magic – TADA

    Expecting Some Magic – TADA

    Expecting some magic out of this lad

    JAPAN

    TADA

    beijing 2008

  • Perfect Eyesight

    Arthur is 75 years old. He’s played golf every day since his retirement 15 years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. “That’s it,” he tells his wife. “I’m giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit the ball, I couldn’t see where it went.”

    His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down, she says, “Why don’t you take my brother with you and give it one more try?”

    “That’s no good,” sighs Arthur. “Your brother is 85. He can’t help.”

    “He may be 85,” says the wife, “but his eyesight is perfect.”

    So the next day, Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law. He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway. He turns to the brother-in-law and says, “Did you see the ball?”

    “Of course I did. Great shot!” answers the brother-in-law. “I have perfect eyesight.”

    “Where did it go?” Arthur asks.

    “I don’t remember.”

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  • Mike Tyson’s Religion

    How can you tell Mike Tyson does not like religion?

    Because he punches everyone on their faith.

  • Can’t Win a Mall

    I entered a lottery to win an entire shopping center, but I failed.

    I guess you can’t win a mall.

  • My frog impression

    I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me before he croaked.
    He said, “Hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?”