Tone: light-hearted

Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • She gave me permission

    My wife said I could be an idiot sometimes.

    I think it was pretty cool of her to give me permission.

  • Because He’s My Newt

    A guy walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder.

    The bartender says, “Interesting pet. What’s his name?”

    “Tiny,” the guy says.

    “Why Tiny?” the bartender asks.

    “Because he’s my newt.”

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  • The Doctor Clears Her Sinuses

    An old lady goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I can’t stop farting. They’re silent with no smell, but I’ve let out 20 in the past five minutes sitting here.”

    The doctor gives her some pills and tells her to come back next week.

    The next week, the old lady comes back and says, “Doc, I took the pills. The farts are still silent, but now they stink!”

    The doctor says, “Great! We’ve cleared your sinuses. Now let’s work on your hearing!”

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  • I stand corrected

    I thought physical therapy was a big scam until I finally went to one for my lower back.

    I stand corrected.

  • They’d crack each other up

    “Dad, why don’t eggs tell jokes?”

    Because they’d crack each other up.

  • Humans Eat More Bananas Than Monkeys

    I told my daughter, “Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?”

    She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered.

    “It’s true!” I said.

    “When was the last time you ate a monkey?!”

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  • That’s 15-love

    My wife said, “I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with tennis.”

    I replied, “That’s 15-love.”

  • My Cat at 3AM

    My Cat at 3AM

    My Cat at 3AM
  • Venti Bourbon

    Venti Bourbon

    Venti Bourbon

  • Butterflies in my stomach

    I’d never make it on one of those “Survivor” shows. Every time I think about eating something like caterpillars, I start to get butterflies in my stomach.