Tone: light-hearted

Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Worms, Wagers, and Wily Whippersnappers!

    A boy and his grandfather were digging in the backyard when the grandfather pulled a long earthworm out of the dirt.

    The boy says, “Hey, Grandpa. I bet you five bucks I can put that worm right back in the ground.”

    “No way that’s possible,” says the grandfather. “You’re on.”

    The kid goes inside, gets a can of hairspray, and sprays the length of the earthworm, which goes completely stiff. He takes it between his fingers and slides the worm right back into its burrow.

    The grandfather shakes his head and, with an “I’ll be damned,” hands the kid a five-dollar bill and heads inside.

    After a while, he comes back out to the yard and hands the kid a five-dollar bill.

    “Grandpa,” the kid says, “you already paid me.”

    “I know,” the grandfather replies. “That’s from Grandma.”

  • Free of charge

    The sweater my wife gave me was picking up static electricity, so I went to the store to change it.

    They gave me another one, free of charge.

  • Ken came in a different box

    Why isn’t there a pregnant Barbie doll?
    Because Ken came in a different box.

  • Every year it’s Dublin

    Ireland’s capital is the fastest-growing city.
    Every year it’s Dublin.

  • Blondes and the Mystery of Shoulders

    Two blondes were on an elevator.

    Then a man got on. One blonde says to the other, “Wow, that guy has bad dandruff. Someone should give him Head & Shoulders.”

    The other one says, “How do you give shoulders?”

  • Penguin Problems: Ice Cream and Car Repairs!

    A penguin was driving her car when it started shaking and making a noise. Fortunately, she was able to make it to a mechanic before it stopped running.

    The mechanic told her it would be a couple of hours before he could get to it, so he suggested the penguin hang out at the ice cream shop across the street.

    The penguin grabbed her laptop from the car and headed across the street to check email and do some work.

    Two hours later, she went back to the shop and spoke with the mechanic. The penguin asked, “What’s the problem? Is it the transmission?”

    The mechanic responded, “It looks like you blew a seal.”

    To which the penguin responded, “Nah, that’s just a little ice cream,” as she wiped her chin.