Tone: light-hearted

Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Papal Pizza Plans: A Slice of Home

    With the first anniversary of the new pope approaching, Vatican staff were preparing a banquet and reviewing the menu with Leo.

    After a few minutes, Leo started looking distracted. When asked what was wrong, he said, “The food here at the Vatican is amazing, but I really miss good old Chicago-style deep-dish pizza. I would like you to serve that at my anniversary banquet.”

    Not having had any experience with it, they nevertheless agreed. Since there is no pizza oven in the Vatican, their kitchen staff went to a local pizzeria to use theirs. After a couple days of experimenting, they served Leo their first attempt at deep-dish pizza for lunch.

    “Yuck,” he said. “I don’t know what this is, but it’s certainly not deep-dish pizza!”

    For the next month, a couple of times a week, the Vatican chefs prepared another attempt, and each one was met with a similar reaction. With the banquet only two days away, Leo finally said, “I’ve had enough! You obviously aren’t able to figure this out on your own, so take me down to the pizzeria and I’ll show you how to make a deep-dish pizza.”

    So the pope went to the pizzeria and into the kitchen, and soon flour and sauce were flying everywhere. A local reporter stopped by to get lunch, gaped in surprise, and immediately got on the phone with her editor.

    “Are you aware of some VIP visiting Rome today?” she asked.

    He replied, “No—I haven’t heard anything. What’s up?”

    She said, “I don’t know for sure, but it must be someone really important: the pope is baking a pizza for him!”

  • Unplugged Desires: The Seductive Guitar Sound

    Did you hear about the guitar that aroused people when played?

    It had to be put on the sexy Fenders register.

  • Between Marathons and Sprints: My Mixed Race Upbringing

    My father ran the marathon but my mother ran the 100 meter dash so I grew up with mixed race parents.

  • Orthopedic Shoes: From Overrated to Essential!

    I always thought orthopedic shoes were overrated, but I stand corrected.

  • Dirty Pictures Reveal True Desires!

    A guy goes to the psychiatrist and the doctor orders a Rorschach test.

    He shows his patient the first inkblot and asks what he sees. The reply: “Sex.”

    Second inkblot, same question. The reply: “Sex.” Third time around, same thing.

    The doctor says, “All you have on your mind is sex.”

    The patient replies, “Well, of course I do, because you keep showing me those dirty pictures.”

  • Beaver’s Dam Debate: A River of Words!

    Beaver and Woodchuck were chatting down at the local bar on a Friday evening.

    Woodchuck was trying to be patient and get a word in, but Beaver kept going on and on about the pond where his family lived—how wide and deep it was, how much protection it provided, and so on.

    After about an hour, Woodchuck had had enough and yelled out in frustration, “Could you please stop talking about your dammed river?!”