What do you call someone in India with great intuition?
Sikh sense.
Tone: light-hearted
Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
Sikh Sense: Intuition at Its Best!
-
A guy finds an old lamp
A guy is walking along a beach and finds an old lamp.
He rubs it, and a genie pops out. The genie says, “I can grant you three wishes, but there’s a catch: your ex-wife gets double whatever you ask for.”
The man thinks and says, “For my first wish, I’d like a billion dollars.”
The genie snaps his fingers. “Done. You have a billion dollars, and your ex-wife has two billion.”
The man says, “For my second wish, I’d like a fleet of the world’s finest sports cars.”
The genie snaps his fingers. “Done. You have ten Ferraris, and your ex-wife has twenty.”
The man pauses, looking very thoughtful. Finally, he says, “For my third wish… I’d like to donate one of my kidneys.”
-
Gary got beat up
John runs into his old friend Gary, who looks like he’s been beaten by a thousand fists.
Now Gary is the nicest guy ever; it’s hard to imagine anyone getting mad at him, let alone beating him so savagely.
I asked, “What happened?!?!”
He explained, “Well, I was on the escalator, and the lady in front of me was wearing a pretty skirt, but it had bunched up between her cheeks, so I gently pulled it out. Then she turned around and slapped me.”
“Wow! Maybe you should have just let it be, but it looks like you got more than just slapped.”
“I know! I knew I messed up, and I felt bad, so when she turned around, I started poking it back in…” -
Secrets Whispered: Conspiracy Theories Await!
I went to the library and asked the librarian where I could find books about conspiracy theories. She leaned over and whispered:
“They are right behind you.” -
A Weighty Memory: Words That Stick
Tell your wife she looks great 100 times and she won’t remember. Tell her once that she needs to lose weight and she’ll remember forever.
Because an elephant never forgets. -
How is he?
“Doctor, how is he?”
“Well, he’s had a massive heart attack, and also sustained some bone fractures.”
“Can I talk to him?”
“No, unfortunately, that’s not possible right now. But if you want to tell him anything, I can pass it along.”
“Could you ask him if I passed my driving test?”
-
Listening: The Key to Conversation Survival!
My wife screamed: ‘You haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?’
What a weird way to start a conversation!
