Tone: light-hearted

Light-hearted humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Gym Woes: Broken Machines and No Treats!

    I went to the gym the other day and my favorite machine was broken.

    I couldn’t get any chocolate or Coke or anything.

  • Spraying Memories: A Job for Two Bucks

    Once long ago I got a job hosing women down for wet T-shirt contests. It was $2 an hour.

    It was all I could afford at the time.

  • Liquids Only: A Toast to Clear Choices!

    I just left the doctor’s office. He told me he wants me on clear liquids for the next 24 hours.

    Between the rum, vodka, and gin, I shouldn’t run out.

  • Pregnant while in a coma

    A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after about 6 months…
    The woman asked the doctor about her baby.

    Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl. They’re both fine. And your brother named them for you.

    Woman: No No No! Not my brother. He’s an idiot! What did he name the girl?

    Doctor: Denise.

    Woman: Ohh, that’s actually a nice name. What about the boy?

    Doctor: ….Denephew.

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  • Little Johnny and Cows

    Little Johnny is out riding his bike with his dad through the fields when he sees a bull on top of a cow.

    Johnny: “Dad, what’s that bull doing?”
    Dad: “Well, the sun’s about to set, Johnny, so the bull is just pushing the cow back into the barn.”

    Johnny: “Wow! It’s a good thing Mama held on to the kitchen table yesterday—otherwise the postman would’ve pushed her all the way back to the post office!”

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  • Gators vs. Crocs: Timing is Everything!

    What’s the difference between an alligator, and a crocodile?

    One you will see later; the other after a while.

  • Life’s Journey: Remembering Those We Lost

    As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way.

    Maybe a career as a tour guide wasn’t the right choice.

  • Achieving a Smoking Hot Body: Cremation Humor!

    I’ve decided that cremation is the only way I’m going to get a smoking hot body.

  • Barber’s Secret: From Cuts to Criminals

    My neighborhood barber was just arrested for selling drugs.

    I was a customer for seven years. I never knew he was a barber.

  • Too Many Samples: A Sperm Bank Tale

    I got fired because my boss said I was handing out too many free samples.

    That’s the last time I get a job at a sperm bank.