Tone: satirical

Satirical humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Biden’s Barn Blues: A Night Out

    Biden, Obama, and Trump get lost in the woods one night.

    They come across an old farm and knock on the door to ask if they can get shelter there overnight.

    The farmer answers the door and says yes, but he only has room in his house for two guests, so one of the guys will have to sleep in the barn.

    Biden offers to sleep in the barn, and everyone turns in for the night. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door. It was Biden standing there. Biden says, “I didn’t realize horses were in there. I’m allergic.”

    So the farmer lets Biden in and sends Obama to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on his door. It was Obama standing there. He said, “I can’t sleep out there. The smell from the pigs is making me nauseous.”

    So the farmer lets Obama in and sends Trump out to the barn instead. A couple minutes later, the farmer hears KNOCK KNOCK on the door.

    It was the horse and the pigs standing there.

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  • Golfing Through the Apocalypse

    Golfing Through the Apocalypse

    Golfing Through the Apocalypse

  • Potential vs Reality

    A son tells his father he has a homework assignment due, and he can’t figure out how to complete it. The task is to explain the difference between theory and reality.

    The father instructs him: “Go ask your mom if she would have sex with a stranger for $1,000,000.”

    The mom says yes.

    Then the father tells him to ask his sister the same question.

    She also says yes.

    The father says, “There. You figured out the assignment. In theory, we live with two millionaires. In reality, we live with two sluts.”

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  • Don’t go in that field…

    An undercover cop came to my farm out in the sticks yesterday evening.

    “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs,” he said.

    “By all means, Officer—just don’t go in that field over there,” I replied.

    The cop exploded. “Do you know who the fuck I am?! I have the authority of the government with me!” he shouted, pulling a badge out of his back pocket. “Do you see this fucking badge?! This badge means I can do what I want, and I’ll go wherever the fuck I want. Have I made myself clear?!”

    I nodded politely, apologized, and went back to work.

    A short while later, I heard loud screaming. I looked up and saw the cop running for his life, being chased by my angry bull. With every step, the bull was gaining ground, and it looked like he was gonna get gored before he reached safety.

    The officer looked terrified and kept running for his life.

    I threw down my tools, ran to the edge of the fence, and shouted at the top of my lungs:

    “Your badge—show him your fucking badge!”

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  • Polish Sausage

    I walked up to the counter and said, “Yeah, I’ll take a Polish sausage.”

    The guy behind the counter squints at me and asks, “Are you Polish?”

    I’m immediately offended.

    “What kind of question is that? If I ordered a bratwurst, would you assume I’m German? If I asked for a Belgian waffle, would that make me Belgian? Dumplings — Chinese? What exactly made you think I was Polish?”

    He leans in, lowers his voice, and says,

    “Sir… this is a hardware store.”

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