Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…
I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.
She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.
After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”
Do not buy a Dyson Ball Vacuum.
Its name is deceiving. Don’t ask how I know.
A morgue worker died today.
But he’ll be back at work tomorrow.
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk!
How do you know if your dentist was a corrections officer before?
If he wants to do a cavity search.
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller.
I didn’t believe in my chiropractor.
But now I stand corrected.
My wife says she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with poker.
I think she’s bluffing.
I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes.
She turned around and gave me a big hug.
