Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Well, that didn’t work
My wife and I were discussing our eventual deaths…
I said my worst fear was dying alone, and that I wanted the last thing I hear to be her telling me she loves me.
She gave me a big hug, said, “I love you,” and then waited.
After a couple of seconds, she shook her head and said, “Well, that didn’t work.”
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Its name is deceiving
Do not buy a Dyson Ball Vacuum.
Its name is deceiving. Don’t ask how I know. -
Back at work tomorrow
A morgue worker died today.
But he’ll be back at work tomorrow. -
One less drunk
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?
One less drunk! -
A cavity search
How do you know if your dentist was a corrections officer before?
If he wants to do a cavity search. -
A four-chin teller
What do you call a fat psychic?
A four-chin teller. -
Now I stand corrected
I didn’t believe in my chiropractor.
But now I stand corrected. -
I think she’s bluffing
My wife says she’s leaving me because of my unhealthy obsession with poker.
I think she’s bluffing.
