Word to the wise: When a longtime friend confesses his scatological fetish to you, it is NOT appropriate to respond by saying, “I don’t give a shit.”
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me
Whenever I help my boyfriend get off by letting him watch me masturbate, after he thanks me I like to say, “Happy to lend a helping finger!”
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Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer
Location is everything. A three-hole punch on an office printer table: mundane. A three-hole punch on an S&M; buffet table: nasty.
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(Jilly G.) The best thing about a threesome is that if you do
(Jilly G.) The best thing about a threesome is that if you do something TRULY spectacular, you’ll have two witnesses there to corroborate your story.
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I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties,
I thought I had a great name for my new line of vaginal pasties, but apparently “lipstick” is already taken.
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People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my
People think I’m some sort of sexual superhero. But I put on my latex barbed-wired crotchless panties one leg at a time, just like everyone else.
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Unless one is young, healthy and very spry, just how exactly
Unless one is young, healthy and very spry, just how exactly COULD one give a flying fuck?
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True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to
True love knows no bounds. But it *does* know how to tie you to the bed and fuck your lights out.
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My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of
My sister couldn’t believe herself when she accepted an offer of sex from the man with the world’s smallest penis. She didn’t know she had it in her.
