Some days I just want to treat other people like they are bad guys in a video game. Sorry I exploded your head, slow walking asshole.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I figured nothing says “Thank you” like a few nude photos.
I figured nothing says “Thank you” like a few nude photos. Apparently, though, the priest who married us would have preferred a simple card.
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I would love to see a female boxer in a “girl fight” at a bar.
I would love to see a female boxer in a “girl fight” at a bar. Nothing shuts up a mouthy drunk chick faster than being knocked unconscious by a professional.
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You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at
You’re saying you DON’T watch midget porn on your phone when you’re on the crapper at work? Well excuse ME, your majesty! Greg Preece
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English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.”
English if I ran it: A group of crows is called a “group.” A group of buffaloes is called a “group.” A group of catfish is called a “group.”
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Can nuns get tattoos?
Can nuns get tattoos? My platonic friend, Sister Margery, wanted me to help her get a tramp stamp, but I didn’t want us to go to Hell.
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Some people like scrapbooking.
Some people like scrapbooking. Some people like antiquing. Gerunds seem to be infiltrating and turning our nouns to the dark side.
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If I could change jobs to something I’m bad at, I’d be a barber.
If I could change jobs to something I’m bad at, I’d be a barber. The pay’s no good, but I’d giggle myself to sleep every night.
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Dogs as a species would have died out long ago if the leg-humping dogs were their only
Dogs as a species would have died out long ago if the leg-humping dogs were their only hope of reproduction, cause those suckers seem to be way off the mark every time.
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I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush-bottomed bubble dudes
I felt kind of ripped off when I couldn’t see any scrub brush-bottomed bubble dudes spraying out of the bathroom cleaner can. Guess I need huff it a little deeper next time.
