I was at a speed dating event, looking for a partner who can light my cigarette.
The first candidate started telling me about how smoking is actually really bad for me.
I told him that I appreciate his intention, but it’s not a match.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Disabled Porn
A guy takes his wife and two small kids on a driving vacation, and checks into a cheap motel. He asks the clerk, “For the sake of our kids’ TV viewing, can we have the porn disabled?”
The clerk responds, “Who the hell would make their kids watch disabled porn, you sick bastard?”
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Note to self: It’s not “boner-fide” opportunity. Follow-up note
Note to self: It’s not “boner-fide” opportunity. Follow-up note to self: Who cares? I got the job!
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I know it’s called a blow JOB, but I really don’t think the
I know it’s called a blow JOB, but I really don’t think the interview was necessary.
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Just my luck, I picked up the *karma* sutra book instead of the
Just my luck, I picked up the *karma* sutra book instead of the *kama* sutra. I guess what cums around goes around.
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I taught my testicles to sing the blues. It kinda makes sense,
I taught my testicles to sing the blues. It kinda makes sense, as that’s the color they are most of the time.
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A poet once asked “What’s in a name?” as a way of teaching
A poet once asked “What’s in a name?” as a way of teaching others to not make superficial judgments. Still, if the name is “Mother Fucking Douche Bag Asswipe III,” I think it would be safe to make at least a few assumptions.
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but go ahead and spend the extra cash and get Famous Amos brand
but go ahead and spend the extra cash and get Famous Amos brand cookies. The generic knock-off Famous Anus Cookies taste like ass.
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Consumer advice: They cost a little more,
Consumer advice: They cost a little more,
