Why did David Hasselhoff start going by just “the Hoff”?
It was less hassle.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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“I” Before “E”
“I” before “E,” except when your foreign neighbor Keith receives eight counterfeit beige sleighs from weird, feisty, caffeinated weightlifters.
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Reminiscing With an Old School Friend
I was reminiscing with an old school friend the other day.
I said, “Do you remember when the sun would rise in the morning and set in the evening?”
He said, “Ahhh, those were the days…”
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Pile of Wet Jeans by the Riverbank
I heard there was a pile of wet jeans left by the riverbank.
So I drove my Chevy to the Levi’s, but the Levi’s were dry.
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The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
The fastest land mammal is a toddler who’s been asked what’s in their mouth.
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Did you hear that Apple revealed a new device today that tells a dad joke at the push of a button?
Did you hear that Apple revealed a new device today that tells a dad joke at the push of a button?
They’re calling it the iRoll.
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When it comes to being a good father for my daughters, I have three unwritten rules
When it comes to being a good father for my daughters, I have three unwritten rules:
1)
2)
3)
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I made a model of Mount Everest
I made a model of Mount Everest.
Not to scale, just to look at.
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My bank recently called me to let me know I had an outstanding balance
My bank recently called me to let me know I had an outstanding balance.
I said, “Thanks, I used to do gymnastics,” and hung up the phone.
That was nice of them.
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Count Chocula, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and the Teddy Grahams bear all perish in a fire
Breaking News!
Count Chocula, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, and the Teddy Grahams bear all perish in a fire.
S’more at 11.
