You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to
I was putting on my shoes when my hands were full and I had to sort of artfully slip my heel in several times until it felt just right. That’s when I thought to myself: This is a lot like fucking.
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I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies
I’m a pad gal, myself. Tampons are for pussies.
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I think that woman at the animal shelter is overreacting. I
I think that woman at the animal shelter is overreacting. I never said I wanted to adopt a kitten; I said I wanted a little pussy.
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Sometimes when I’m in the shower, all hot, wet and naked,
Sometimes when I’m in the shower, all hot, wet and naked, soaping up my breasts and having fun with the showerhead, I try and think of ways to incorporate that scene into a filthy Rumination. Unfortunately, no luck so far.
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(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with
(Roman Meeks) I like my bloody marys like I like my women: with a little pickle in ’em!
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I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting
I’ve found that a good way to get out of a boring staff meeting well in advance is to warn all parties about the potential of a “brutal mudbutt incident.”
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Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to
Want to impress your architect girlfriend? Shave your pubes to look like the buildings surrounding the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
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I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to
I guess it’s my fault; I kept telling my girlfriend I wanted to see her get nasty and sweaty with another woman. But hair-pulling on “Jerry Springer” wasn’t exactly what I had in mind.
