Daily Life Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Step Up Your Jerk Off Game With the Ribbed Stranger

STEP UP YOUR JERK OFF GAME WITH

THE RIBBED STRANGER

Now i know

Why they’re so noisy at night

TODAY ON THE BUS I TOLD A LADY SHE HAD SEMEN ON THE BACK OF HER SHIRT.

SHE SAID IT WAS PROBABLY YOGURT.

I’M PRETTY SURE I DON’T EJACULATE YOGURT.

Me on naked and afraid waiting for a box of Krispy Kremes to wash up

There was a knock at the door earlier. When I answered it, there was a little man standing on the step.

I said, “You’re not very tall, are you?”

“I’m 3′3″,” he said.

When I asked him what he wanted, he said, “I’m the meter man.”

Me: “I am here to ask for your daughters hand”

Her dad: why?

Me: “cause I’m tired of using mine”

Absolutely nobody.

The sock in the corner of my room

If your weekend didn’t end like this don’t waste your breath tellin me about it.

When you’re trying to wash the stink off of your sex toy.

My new standing desk has arrived, it has a cool feature bolted on underneath.