Just remember that somewhere out there, a girl without arms… is trying to make her bed.
Topic: daily life
Daily life jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Slow Morning Romance
I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me.
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Dismayed
Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar.
I’m dismayed.
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Salsa Class Misunderstanding
Instructor: Welcome to salsa class! Who’s ready to learn how to dance?
Me, hiding a bag of tortilla chips: There’s been a misunderstanding.
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Night School 8 AM Class
The worst part about going to night school to get my college education was ending up with an 8:00 class and having to drag my sleepy ass out of bed by 7:00 PM.
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Call the Exterminator
Sometimes I look outside my window and think, “Those people look like ants from here.” But then I realize I live on the first floor, and I really need to call the exterminator.
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Doggy Style Ruins Knees Every Time
A woman goes to the doctor complaining of bad knee pains. After the diagnostic tests showed nothing, the doctor questions her, “There must be something you’re doing that you haven’t told me. Can you think of anything that might be doing this to your knees?”
“Well,” she said a little sheepishly, “my husband and I have sex doggy-style on the floor every night.”
“That’s got to be it,” said the doctor. “There are plenty of other positions and ways to have sex, you know.”
“Not if you’re going to watch TV, there ain’t,” she replied.
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Wife Interrupts Husband’s Porn Search for Curtains
A husband, his wife asleep, goes to the computer in the living room, opens the browser and starts looking through some porn pics.
He’s looking, looking, suddenly he hears behind him:
“Wait wait wait! Scroll up! Again! One more!.. Yes! These are the curtains I want for the kitchen!”
