Topic: daily life

Daily life jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

  • This Contest Is Hard

    This Contest Is Hard

    Jon @ArfMeasures

    Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard

    11:15 AM – 31 May 19 – Twitter for Android

    2,711 Retweets 20K Likes

  • The Centipede’s Errand

    An ant, a spider, and a centipede are holding a party.

    The ant realizes that they are running low on beer. He offers to head out to buy some more. The centipede says, “No, let me do it. You’d take too long. I have a lot more legs than you — I can do it faster!” The bugs agree.

    Ten minutes pass… then twenty minutes, then thirty, then more. The spider asks, “What’s taking him so long?” The ant decides to head out to investigate. He opens the front door and sees the centipede outside.

    The ant asks, “Hey man, what’s taking you so long?”

    The centipede replies, “I’m still putting on my shoes.”

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  • You Must Be Single

    Today I bought two bananas, an apple, and a pack of cigarettes. The cashier looked at me and said, “You must be single, huh?” And I’m like, “How do you know that?”

    She said, “Because you’re ugly.”

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  • The Stuttering Clerk

    A really huge muscular guy with a bad stutter walks up to a counter in a department store and asks, “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

    The clerk behind the counter just looks at him and says nothing.

    The man repeats himself: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

    Again, the clerk doesn’t answer him.

    The guy asks several more times: “W-w-w-where’s the m-m-m-men’s dep-p-p-partment?”

    And the clerk just seems to ignore him.

    Finally, the guy storms away in anger after not being answered.

    The customer who was waiting in line behind the muscular guy asks the clerk, “Why wouldn’t you answer that guy’s question?”

    The clerk replies, “D-d-d-do you th-th-th-think I w-w-w-want to get b-b-b-beat up?!”

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  • This Is Adulthood

    This Is Adulthood

    This is adulthood

    lower back MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME

  • Please Don’t Be Cracked

    Please Don’t Be Cracked

    *drops phone*

    “please don’t be cracked”

    the phone:

  • Butthole Watching Hot Sauce

    Butthole Watching Hot Sauce

    My butthole watching me pour hot sauce over everything

  • Coffee Will Help

    Coffee Will Help

    When you’ve only slept for 2 hours and you think coffee will help.

  • No Thanks I’ll Just Have Water

    No Thanks I’ll Just Have Water

    No thanks, I’ll just have water

    Gatorade FIERCE GRAPE .50 20 oz Plastic

    Gat rade .50 FRUIT PUNCH