allow me to slip into something more comfortable ~
*gets in my car and leaves*
Topic: daily life
Daily life jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t
My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t like to watch me eat Froot Loops and play video games, because that would pretty much cover my entire day.
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I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into
I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into the laundry, then they’re “fucking Kleenex.”
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If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the
If you’re walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog has already won.
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Fuck the Lot of You
Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night
I’m going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.
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Indestructible Walls Kool-Aid
fishy @fishbowel
Me: I love my new indestructible walls I just wish I had some kool-aid
*audible thud outside house*
Me: what was that
