law professor: you're currently failing your ethics class
me: *slides a $20 across the desk*
how about now
Topic: daily life
Daily life jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
-
A Kitchen Table
I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen
table when we heard the front door open
She said “it’s my husband!.. Quick, try the
backdoor!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran but you
don’t get offers like that every day. -
A Tree Falls in a Forest
[tree falls in forest]
[doesn’t make a sound]
GUY IN CAMOUFLAGE: What the—
TREE: oh shit I mean AHHH!!! -
The Coronavirus Stockpile
When it’s only been 48
hours and you’ve eaten
your entire coronavirus
stockpile -
Cheating Once a Month
If you cheat on ya girl once a month
that’s only 12/365 days…You still 97%
faithful. That’s an A+ -
Why Is There a Coyote on the Bus?
why is there a coyote on the bus?
probably because they can’t fucking
drive karen -
A Toddler’s Promise
My 3 year old asked how long he had
to wait until he could stop listening to
me. I told him he had to listen to me for
the rest of his life. He looked me dead
in the eyes and said, “I’ll listen to you
for the rest of YOUR life.” Toddlers are
cold-blooded, man. -
A Doctor’s Diagnosis
Doc: looks like you’re pregnant
girl: i’m pregnant ?
Doc: no it just looks like you are
