Topic: medical

Medical jokes, doctor-office awkwardness, hospital humor, and body-related disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

  • Just a shot in the dark

    I was trying to get romantic with the new nurse at my doctor’s office, so I asked her to dim the lights before she gave me the tetanus booster.
    I guess it was just a shot in the dark.

  • Al Roker

    Should NBC be concerned? They keep getting communications that affect the weather from some rogue terrorist group called “Al Roker.”

  • I bleed at the sight of someone passing out

    I’ve always been different from most people. For instance, I bleed at the sight of someone passing out.

  • Prostate Exam My Name Is Steve

    Prostate Exam My Name Is Steve

    DURING THIS PROSTATE EXAM, PLEASE TRY NOT TO GET AN ERECTION, DAVE

    MY NAME IS STEVE

    YEAH I KNOW…

    MY NAME IS DAVE

    SLIPSHOD SQUIGGLES

  • Those are just contractions

    A woman in labor suddenly shouted, “Shouldn’t! Wouldn’t! Couldn’t! Didn’t! Can’t!”
    “Don’t worry,” said the doctor. “Those are just contractions.”

  • I stand corrected

    I thought physical therapy was a big scam until I finally went to one for my lower back.

    I stand corrected.

  • The taste

    What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer?
    The taste.

  • Now I stand corrected

    I didn’t believe in my chiropractor.
    But now I stand corrected.

  • Temperature Check: Taste vs. Tradition!

    What’s the difference between oral and rectal thermometers?
    The taste.

  • Eyes Wide Open: A Unique Surgery Success

    Went to school with a guy who was born without eyelids. He underwent surgery where they circumcised him and used the foreskin to create natural looking eyelids. The operation was a success.

    He still looks a little cockeyed though.