Question: Who poses w/their wife, however, puts their
arm around their daughter with a hand on her butt, and
has a mistress in the same photo?
Evangelicals: “God’s Anointed”
Topic: religion
Religion jokes, holy weirdness, questionable miracles, and sacred-adjacent punchlines from the part of the internet that definitely heard the thunder.
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A Question About a Family Photo
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I Found $20 on the Ground
I found $20 lying on the ground and asked myself, “What would Jesus do?”
So, I turned it into wine.
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Trampolines Disguised as Prayer Mats
I recently opened a company selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof.
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I was blessed with a 9-inch penis
I was blessed with a 9-inch penis.
That priest is in jail now.
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The Missionary and the Chief
There was once a missionary preaching in a small African tribe. The people there loved him, and every day more were converted.
But one day, a white baby was born to one of the women in the tribe. The chief immediately sent for the missionary and demanded to know why he had broken the commandments he had so lovingly taught to his people.
The missionary, having been a devout Christian his entire life, asked to see the child. Upon viewing the baby, it became clear that this baby was an albino. The missionary attempted to explain this to the chief, saying: “Chief, this child suffers from a condition of the skin which changed its color to white. As an example, look upon your flocks of sheep. All are white, except for one which is black.”
The chief cut him off, saying, “OK, I won’t tell about the baby, if you don’t tell about the sheep.”
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When you die and Jesus shows you a list of all the memes you’ve liked
When you die and Jesus shows you a list of all the memes you’ve liked
(chuckles) I’m in danger
