Barbie really squirts
Topic: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Exchanging Blows
How do two gay guys settle an argument?
They step outside and exchange blows.
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The Farmer’s New Cock
A farmer buys a young cock. As soon as he gets it home, it fucks all the farmer’s 150 hens. The farmer is impressed. At lunch the cock screws all 150 hens again.
The next day it’s fucking the ducks and geese too. Later he finds the cock lying on the ground half-dead with vultures circling overhead.
The farmer says, “You deserved it, you horny bastard!” The cock opens one eye, points up, and says, “Shhhhhh. They’re about to land!!”
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The Teen and the Exam Excuse
A smart-mouthed teen at the back of the class raised his hand and asked…
“Miss, what would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?”
The entire class broke out in laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said… “Well, I would expect you to write the exam with your other hand.”
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The Boss and the Thousand Dollars
A boss said to his secretary, “I want to have sex with you. I’ll make it very fast. I’ll throw $1,000 on the floor. By the time you bend down to pick it up, I’ll be done.”
She thought about it for a moment, then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend replied, “Go for it, but ask him for $2,000 instead. Pick up the money as fast as you can—he won’t even have time to undress himself.”
So she agreed.
Half an hour later, the boyfriend called her back.
“What happened?” he asked.
She replied, “That bastard used coins… I’m still picking them up, and he’s still going!”
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The Genie and the Two Wishes
A guy finds an old lamp in the desert. He rubs it and a genie pops out. The genie tells the guy he has two wishes.
The guy says, “I always thought it was three wishes.”
The genie says, “Check your pants.”
The guy looks down and says, “Woah, it’s huge!”
And the genie says, “I’ve been doing this for a long time.”
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The Woman and the Discharge
A woman went to the doctor and said, “I’m getting too much discharge.”
The doctor said, “Pop your knickers off and slip onto the bed.”
He put on his latex gloves and slipped 2 fingers into her vagina.
“How does that feel?” he asked.
“Fucking lovely,” she replied. “But the discharge is in my ear.”
