Thank God for Ruminations. I’ve tried for years to get Heloise to publish the following hint: “Tired of sleeping on the wet spot? Keep a hair dryer plugged in next to the bed. One minute on high is all it takes to dry that spot up so you can sleep easy.”
Topic: sexual innuendo
Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually
My Asian girlfriend made us dinner last night, eventually followed by passionate lovemaking. Nevertheless, I awakened abruptly only an hour later, with an unsatisfied hunger. Was it the twice cooked pork, or the twice porked cook that I was craving?
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“I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome I took
“I do declare, there were times when I was so lonesome I took some comfort there.” Notice how gentle “cornholing some chick” sounds in folk music?
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I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls;
I’m not the kind of girl who whores herself out for booty calls; with MY rack, it’s all about Titty Calls.
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I should have known this was a porn restaurant when they gave me
I should have known this was a porn restaurant when they gave me a peanut fluffer and K-Y Jelly sandwich.
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end my workout with a money shot
end my workout with a money shot.
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I exercise the same way I make love: I go all out each and every
I exercise the same way I make love: I go all out each and every time. So I’m surprised that the guys in my gym don’t appreciate it when I
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When she told me she would give me the best blowjob I’d ever had
When she told me she would give me the best blowjob I’d ever had for $20, I told her to put my money where her mouth is.
